In class, I make "references" to things a lot. There are many instances when I refer back to something that we covered. It is a single point of time, a dot of information. Many times our conversations are just like plotting graphs on grid paper...connecting coordinates.
The word reference stems form the Medieval Latin word, referentem. The root, refer (the act of referring) + ance (else) was coined in the 1500s.
In the Journal of Psychology Science, the University of Arizona conducted a study and it was found that deep and substantive conversation is strongly connected with a person's level of happiness. I think, to some degree, we know this because we've experienced it. I contend, however, because of the the lure of digital gadgets and time spent with this superficial intelligence, we are creating fewer real relationships-- relationships rich with understanding and connection. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2861779/
Often our days and any contact or engagement with others would be labeled and designated for the reference shelf only. We have a list. We default to just mentioning what is going on in our life. There's hardly any interchange of thought let alone an intimate two-way street of communication.
I understand the complexities of available opportunities for such in-depth conversations. However, do we really try that hard to create possible opportunities to delve into meaningful conversation--peeling off layers of empty footnotes and shallow nonstarters?
We are social beings and yearn to have a meaningful tie with others, we are driven to seek and create meaning in our lives and one of the best things we can do is go beyond the niceties of talking with people, and get to deeper discussions and even life questions which can provide enlightenment into self.
Instead of time wasted in 'small talk'--find time to sit (without distraction) and converse with caring people. As the saying goes, "deep conversations with the right people are priceless."